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It’s Cubs Opening Day! (April Fools!)

Man, is that wind howlin’!

What’s worse, we’re now being told that the Polar Vortex is going to leave us in a “Pollen Vortex”, with allergies going crazy from all the extra moisture we received; which in turn is helping our plants bloom, etc. Time to stock up on Zyrtec?

 

What's that smell?

What’s that smell?

Yes, ’tis April Fools’ Day. Here’s some background from Wikipedia. Yes, I know, they can be a tad April Foolish but it’s brief; to the point and interesting…acuurate or not. “Precursors of April Fools’ Day include the Roman festival of Hilaria, held March 25,[2] and the Medieval Feast of Fools, held December 28,[3] still a day on which pranks are played in Spanish-speaking countries.

In Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales (1392), the “Nun’s Priest’s Tale” is set Syn March bigan thritty dayes and two.[4][5] Modern scholars believe that there is a copying error in the extant manuscripts and that Chaucer actually wrote, Syn March was gon.[6] Thus, the passage originally meant 32 days after April, i.e. 2 May,[7] the anniversary of the engagement of King Richard II of England to Anne of Bohemia, which took place in 1381. Readers apparently misunderstood this line to mean “March 32″, i.e. April 1.[8] In Chaucer’s tale, the vain cock Chauntecleer is tricked by a fox.

 

In 1508, French poet Eloy d’Amerval referred to a poisson d’avril (April fool, literally “April fish”), a possible reference to the holiday.[9] In 1539, Flemish poet Eduard de Dene wrote of a nobleman who sent his servants on foolish errands on April 1.[7] In 1686, John Aubrey referred to the holiday as “Fooles holy day”, the first British reference.[7] On April 1, 1698, several people were tricked into going to the Tower of London to “see the Lions washed”.[7]

In the Middle Ages, up until the late 18th century, New Year’s Day was celebrated on March 25 (Feast of the Annunciation) in most European towns.[10] In some areas of France, New Year’s was a week-long holiday ending on April 1.[2][3] Many writers suggest that April Fools originated because those who celebrated on January 1 made fun of those who celebrated on other dates.[2] The use of January 1 as New Year’s Day was common in France by the mid-16th century,[7] and this date was adopted officially in 1564 by the Edict of Roussillon.”

 

And…in that t’morra’s edition’ll be probably moved to Thursday, here’s some camel-view ferya: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBhlQgvHmQ0&index=22&list=PL402AA690E37E4560

 

WABBIT SEASON

 

According to historynet.com, the following events actually took place on April 1st in…

 

 

1778,   A man by the name of Oliver Pollack…no, not Polack…invented the dollar sign.

 

1863,   The U.S. held its first wartime draft. To bad THAT wasn’t an April Fools’ joke, huh?

 

1920,   Germany’s Worker’s Party changed its name. Anybody got a guess? C’mon. You know. They became the National Socialist German Worker’s Party. Still not sure? Ok, how ’bout Nazis…or as Kenneth Mars as Franz Liebkind in Mel Brooks’ “The Producers”, bellowed, “Ve vere not Nawzzies! Ve were Nazis!”

 

1924,   A mere 4-years later, Adolph Hitler was sentenced to 5-tears in prison for his part in the Munich “Beer Hall Putsch”. Where he wrote his “Mein Kampf”. Man, if there wasn’t a guy or group better suited for having this date be important to them, who was? Too bad what they turned into wasn’t funny.

 

1929,   In a more apropos observance of the date, the Yo-yo was introduced.

 

1948,   The Berlin Airlift began. No, not foolish except the first time I flew, it was courtesy of the US Navy, on a C-118…read that a DC6. As we prepared to depart, the plane captain took the mike and proudly anjnounced that we were all flying on a plane which had taken part in The Berlin Airlift. At which time I turned to my seat-mate, Leon Staples, who had a ‘fro about as big as a rainbow and said, “Holy BuckyDent! This BuckyDentin’ plane’s older than ME!” Only took us 10-hours to get to NAS Moffett Field, which was decommissioned years ago.

 

1954,   Don’t know what our USAF folks will think with this being April 1st, but…the Air Force Academy was founded in Colorado.

 

1982,   The US transferred control of the Panama Canal to, well, Panama. Kinda ironic date choice what with Manny Noriega taking over  within less than a year, huh?

 

HEADLINES IN THE NEWS…….

“Pension deal: Tax hikes, worker concessions”. No, that’s NOT an April Fools’ joke.

 

“Alderman withdraws support of strip club ordinance”. Again, no. Funny, yes. But no, nonetheless.

 

“Senator says Caterpillar avoided billions in taxes”. Again, not AFJ. Funny. They’re not the first…nor the last. Y’all may find the following interesting regarding DoobieDub’s old buddy, Kenny Boy from Enron and the company he ran, which considered its Tax Deparment ahem, a ”profit center”. http://bodurtha.georgetown.edu/enron/Enron’s%20Other%20Strategy-%20Taxes.htm

 

“Hunt for healthier mac & cheese hits Kraft”. OK, no, it isn’t but, yeah, it sure could fit today’s date. Right? “Healthy” mac ‘n’ cheese?

 

“Japan whaling future in doubt after court ruling”. This, again, is NOT an APF, though it is ironic in that it took Zeus knows how many years to finally figure out that Japan’s whale hunting actually was NOT really for scientific purposes. Really. I ain’t jopkin’.

 

“Jeb Bush has good creds, bad name”. I like Jeb. Could vote for him, too. He won’t make it. Too open-minded.

 

“Chatty drivers: Get Bluetooth”. As Sheldon Cooper once posited, “Everything’s better with Bluetooth.

 

DUCK SEASON

 

TUBULARLY SPEAKING…

“SNL”. Anyone see last Saturday’s? Here’s a link if you missed it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWuJHbVZBQg

Thought Louis CK as a professor of “African-American Studies at Brigham Young” was hilarious, too.

 

“Believe”. Believe it or not, both MBH ‘n’ me are done with this one. We’re excellent haberdashers when it comes to being “suspenders” of disbelief but it only took 4-episodes for us to relegate this one to the scrap heap. Besides, “Game of Thrones” hits the air in the same time slot, next Sunday. If we’re gonna suspend our disbelief, we’ll do it with some much better portrayed and executed characters, situations and plots. The premise is fine, though borrowed somewhat from “Firestarter”. The idealism is fine, too. It’s mostly in the execution. The kid’s too bratty when her life’s on the line, among other things. They’re wasting Kyle MacLachlan and Delroy Lindo.

 

“The Blacklist”. We’re gettin’ closer to finding out just who “Tom” is; for whom he works and why he’s after Lizzie…and…what Red’s gonna do to/with him.

 

“Hannibal”. Geez, is this one gettin’ creepier-er. Honestly, I thought “True Detective” was but they didn’t show the Carcosa grinding up their victims’ kidneys and enjoying them with a fine Beaujolais.

 

“Revolution” returns tomorrow night following the promo that one of about 10-characters will die. My bet’s on Steven Collins, Charlie’s grampa or Priscilla, A-Aron’s honey bun. No way the hunky-guys nor PanamaHottie gals will buy the farm.

 

“NCIS”‘ “To be continued” episode from last week, with their “backdoor” pilot for “NCIS: New Orleans”, continues and ends, tonight.

 

“Person of Interest”…how much further out over their skis will they get?

 

“Chicago Fire” Don’t know. Don’t watch it but MBH loves it. I don’t — possibly — due to the fact that it has all its characters talk with…I’m sorry…”wit’ dat sout’side” accent. Think Andy Sipowicz half-in-the-bag. Which brings us to…..

 

AND NOW…SPORT

 

 

OPENING DAY…

 

-Watched quite a bit of DaFlubs and as mentioned yesterday, they can’t hit fer schitt. 0-for-11 with men in scoring position!  %-times, the lead-off man starts the inning on base; doesn’t score. That’s bad but the cherry on that turd-sundae came in the 6th, I believe. After having men at 1st & 2nd; bunting into a Replay Reviewed DP and leaving a man at 3rd afterwards, Lake led off with a base-hit; Castro walked…no, this is not an APF joke…repeating, Castro coaxed a walk for another two-on; no out-situation, but this time, instead of the pitcher coming up, “Face of the Franchise, Anthony Rizzo”, K’d, swinging like a rusty gate; Olt blasted a pop-up that the SS caught behind 3rd and Castillo went out. I forget how but does it really matter?

 

On their lack of getting base-hits, newbie manager Ricky Renteria said, “I thought we had some good at-bats.” High praise, indeed!

 

Good signs…

Recent acquisition, Emilio Bonifacio’s going  4-for-5 in the lead-off spot. So, on the day before April Fools’ Day, the Cubs start a lead-off man who gets on base 4-times; start 5-innings with thye lead-off man getting on while the rest of the team amasses a stunning, 2-hits.

 

Smarj pitching lights-out for his 7-innings. So did the rest of the bullpen, save Carlos Villanueva’s B/P fastball that got scorched into the PNC Park, right field upper deck by Neil Walker leading off the bottom of the 10th. Heard the air-traffic-controllers from Pittsburgh International almost thought they’d have to issue a warning to aircraft in the vicinity of PNC Park.

 

Despite these, it looks like we are in line for yet another BOHICA of a season, Cubs fans.

 

-How the Chronic-Dorkalepsy of many White Sox fans keeps me from wanting them to win.

So, later, I tune in the Sox game inasmuch as Arnold, Bill, Dave* and Nick are fans and I was interested to see how their newest guys would fare. Saw De Aza plant one in the right field seats and was even able to get past “The Hawk’s”, prattlings. Then it happened. Just as it did in ’05, when I figured I’d watch them in the Series, as, well, it ain’t like those things happen around here that often, when some C-D-sufferer, when asked about how it felt that his team was in the Series, launched into some rip on the Cubs. Why?-I dunno.-3rd-base. That’s when I came up with the name of their disease. But wait! There’s more! So, as yesterday’s game’s going on; the Sox are winning; good hitting and Sale’s lookin’ pretty good, some Comcast broadcast-girl is shown in the stands with a couple of 60-somethings. They’re on as they’ve been season-ticket holders for 39-years. The kid’s doin’ a nice job with her fluff-piece, as is the wife with her recounting of those years, when the guy says something about the “minor league team” in another part of the City. Y’know, because in those 39-years since 1975 his team won something like 15-Divison titles; 10-Pennants and 6-World Series. Wait! That was the Yankees. Sorry. In those 39-years, HIS team won 5-divisions; 1-pennant and 1-World Series…exactly 1-division less than that “minor league” team though, yes, 1-more pennant and World Series. My point is this. Cubs fans don’t care about the Sox…we care about the Cubs. As far as the Sox are concerned, they may as well play in Cahokia, Illinois for we care. Why?  Because of the Chronic-Dorkalepsy of many…not all…of their fans, who make it nigh unto impossible to “enjoy” anything about their team as through their Dorkalepticness, all we’ll get is grief for doing nothing more than liking a baseball team that’s not the same as theirs. So, go ahead. Enjoy it.

 

So, for Arnold, Bill, Dave* and Nick, I hope they do well. You guys deserve it as much as us. For the rest of them, never mind.

 

AppyPollyLogies, Dave. Forgot you were a Sox fan.

 

OK, time to go.

 

Apollo’s chariot’s high in the sky but the temps are still tempered by Zephyrus exercising his mighty lungs. Still, any day we can look down at our rosebushes instead of up at their roots, is a good one.

 

DaBigFatWat

 


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