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Chicago Schools Die…. Twinkies Live!

Good morning. How are you all? Well, I hope. As chilly as our Spring had been, as of last Friday, it’s as if Mother Nature took a gander at her calendar; did a big “Whoopsie” and decided it was time for make it “hot ‘n’ sticky”.

 

As my previous email stated, be prepared for some roasted “Grinch” in these spaces from here on in, though I still have to be somewhat “PC”, as I do have two other Ratettes for whom I must be careful. Before getting in to that, lets see what’s happened on this date, June 24th, in history, shall we?

Bring it Back IN Boys!

Bring it Back IN Boys!

 

In 1314, Robert the Bruce defeated Eddy Long Shanks at the Battle of Bannockburn, which led to a pretty cool, though gory, Mel Gibson flick.

 

In 1497, John Cabot landed in Canada, founding the place that Robin Williams described as if being in the apartment above the one where all the fun goes on.

 

In 1509, Henry VIII was crowned. Nothing to lose your head over.

 

In 1664, New Joisey was founded…leading to one of the most popular…and possibly, best, TV shows, The Sopranos”.

 

In 1948, The Soviet Union began the Berlin Blockade, which led to the Berlin Airlift; in which the plane on which I took my first flight, participated, which caused all sortsa chagrin for moi as I commented to my seat-mate, “This fokker’s older than me!”

 

OK, let’s get to it.

 

-SCHOOL’S OUT!

So, this morning, I watched ‘GN Morning News with the story about how the 50-odd schools which Grinchy closed were experiencing their last day of school as they were closing…for good…forever. Well, maybe not forever, as, well, hey, we can[‘t forget the boner he has for charter schools. (Bad analogy, in that that would lead to the conclusion that he has “one” which could become a “boner”. Sorry.) There also was an item about how they will pay parent-guards, or whatever they’re calling them, some $10.00/hour next year to walk with the kids from the closed schools to their new schools; through gang-territories; on each and every school day until the end of the 2013-14 school year. Let’s do the math. $10.00/hour/guard/day. Zeus knows how many of them there are. They can afford that. Oh yeah, cuz that’s the Grinchiest, Kookie.

 

But wait! There’s more!

Lest we forget, he also has found…and continues to find…millions and millions for “bike lanes”. Bike lanes! No offense to bike riders…of which my family has a few…but fokking, BIKE LANES! Oh yeah, he says it’ll make us a destination-city, worldwide. Uh-huh. That’s right. I mean, when we plan a trip, what’s the first thing we check out? Bingo! Do they have bike lanes? No? Well we ain’t goin’ there, then, are we? Nope.

 

But wait! There’s more!

He also, has found millions and millions to fund a minor stadium for a private school, DePaul. (Again, no offense to DePaul alumni, of which I know there are a few reading this.) Stadium pros have said a 10,000-seat stadium is, indeed, “minor”. It won’t hold enough for big time concerts or anything “big time”, e.g., The Final Four. Why? Who’d want THAT? But hey, there are Grinch pals in DePaul’s payroll and, voila, they’re gettin’ a new stadium.

 

Mea Culpa. Mea culpa. Mea Maxima culpa.

I say this as I voted for El Grincho. I had some misguided notion that having a mayor who could get his calls answered by the POTUS and was (probably) on a first-name basis with him…well that’d be a good thing. Well, fokk me! I was wrong.

 

 

-SNOWDEN.

Not to take the administration’s line but this guy going to China; then Russia; then, maybe, Ecuador after his NSA leakage, does not portend well for sympathetic support.

 

At least not here. Not in these spaces.

 

What the NSA did/does isn’t nice/right/whatever but it’s been going on for decades. For this guy to do what he did could…repeat, could…be construed as heroic. But the way he has comported himself, well, just erodes any of that for moi. He seems more like a self-aggrandizing, headline seeker, bordering on traitorous.

 

-TYPE II DIABETICS HAVE ANOTHER PROBLEM.

With all the negs out there, there is some good news. Twinkies and Hostess Cup Cakes will be available at a food store near you…real soon.

 

-THE GREAT WALLENDA

Hope we weren’t the only ones who watched Nik Wallenda walk that tightrope across The Grand Canyon. Honestly, I had a feeling he might fall. Yes, I watched, not unlike a die-hard NASCAR fan who only watches the races “for the driving skills”. Anyway, he did it and though I think he’s a lunatic, he deserves kudos for having the balls to have done it.

 

-JOHNNY “SACK” COULDN’T DO IT BUT TONY SOPRANO’S GONE

His portrayer, James Gandolfini, died last week from a heart attack. I really liked him. There are only a handful of actors about whom I can say I never saw them put in a bad performance. They could have been in a scheiss bird of a film but they…their performance…was worth watching.

 

It was his performance as Tony Soprano, though, which cemented him in my HOF. It was his portrayal as the flawed, conflcted, mob boss. He made it OK for guys to feel that conflict. He expressed…as few of us could…how difficult it is – sometimes – for a guy to be, well, a guy.

 

 

R.I.P., Tony.

 

-HERE COME THE HAWKS!

It seems we may have found a way to watch the Hawks, after all. MBH was also given one of those super-neat-o T-shirts, with the embroidered “Indian heads” with the playoff beard. We sat down to watch with she in hers…but not moi in mine as it has bad ju-ju from Game 3.

 

So, here we are. Game 6; Hawks up 3-2, in Beantown with their having the opportunity to take The Cup. Puck drops around 7:15, CDT.

 

Looks like Taser’s hurt. No one really knows if he’ll play or not, nor what his injury is. Let’s hope whatever it is, the outcome remains the same, HAWKS WIN!

 

-BESIBOLL BEEN BERRY, BERRY, BAD TO US.

DaSUX still hold a 1-game edge with their 31-42 record and .425 W/L%; over DaBOHICUBS and CheeseTurds, which are tied with 31-43 records and .419 Wl%s. DaBOHICUBS coulda been tied with DaSUX, but they hadta go and lose one to the lowly As-stro-Holes.

 

That said, well, our teams did fairly well over the weekend, with DaSUX sweeping the Royals and DaBOHICUBS taking 2-outta-3 from the lowly As-stro-holes.

 

-A BOHICUBS OBSERVATION.

So, the 6-year-contract-man, Starlin Castro is in some kinda funk. He ain’t hittin’ and lately, doesn’t seem capable of being able to catch an STD in a brothel. Yesterday, he misplayed a routine throw from Rizzo into a 9th-inning which shouldn’t have happened. Oh well. Hopefully, he’ll learn how to make the routine plays and leave the highlight stuff for someone else. He’s a diamond in the rough, for certain. It’s just how much luster he’ll have that’s in question. That said, they hit the crap out of the ball, yesterday. It was nice.

 

In other news, former Soxer, Ryan Sweeney’s been smokin’ hot what with a .309 B/A in 39 games for DaBHOICUBS. Don’t worry nor get yer hopes up. In the land of Theocracy, all that means is he’ll be traded within the next 30 to 45 days.

 

As I’m still “in recovery” over last week’s events, I’m going to shut down for today. Take care.

 

Remember, any day we can look down at a flower instead of up at its roots it’s a good one.

 

FatRats.

 

 

 

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