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John Kerry and Botox?

Howdy! It’s a brisk 54-degrees in ChiTown, some 40-odd less than Tuesday’s high in the mid-90s. Some find it refreshing and bracing…others, cold. Put moi in the former, on this triskaidekaphobia-day!

 

We get at least one Friday the 13th each year and this is one, so we all need to just deal with it, as ours is nothing compared to what happened to the Knights Templar on October 13, 1307, when  Pope Clement, pressured by King Philip of France authorized the arrest of their order. Many were tortured and put to death by being burned at the stake. That sure beats what we might consider “bad luck”, huh?

botox

Still, without this kind of thinking, would we have heard such things as, “I’ve  been down so long, everything looks like up to me”, or, “If it wasn’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have no luck at all”?

 

Since Wednesday’s 9/11 post evoked many responses…serious responses…I’m going to try to lighten things up a bit, t’day. Not that serious stuff won’t find its way into the post; just that with it being Friday the 13th and all, will try for lighter or more humorous looks at seriosity-schit. That does not preclude anyone from responding. As I noted, that’s the reason I do this.

 

Let’s start with going to The Way Back Machine and see what’s happened “Yesterday and Today” from historynet.com…

 

YESTERDAY in…

490 BC,   Athenian and Plataean Hoplites under the command of General Miltiades drove back the invasion force of Persian General Datis at Marathon. Ya just can’t keep those Hoplites down.

 

1786,  For his failed efforts in stopping the American Revolution, Lord Cornwallis is rewarded by being appointed Governor of India, where he developed a taste for curry, ghee and enjoyed reading The Kama Sutra.

 

1880,   One of my favorites, H.L. Mencken was born.

 

1919,   Adolph Hitler joined the German Workers Party. Nothing going on here, folks. Keep moving.

 

…AND TODAY

 

1549,   Pope Paul III, concluded the Council of Bologna, at which Oscar Mayer served all in attendance b-o-l-o-g-n-a sammiches.

 

1847,   Milton Hershey was born, though too late to serve chocolate bars at the Council of Baloney.

 

1945,   Iran demanded the removal of all Allied forces. Sound familiar?

 

2007,   The UN adopted a non-binding Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples. Dictionary.com defines indigenous as “produced, living, or existing naturally in a particular region or environment”. Thus we are left to infer that folks who actually live in an area have rights over others who decide to just, well, move in and take over but what the hey…it ain’t binding, sooooo.

 

WABBIT SEASON

THE NEW YORK MAYORAL PRIMARY IS OVER!

-Y’all may ask, why should we care and rightfully so. Well, Carlos Danger, aka Anthony Weiner’s wiener’s gone flaccid, as he lost.

 

CHITOWN PASSES “NO GUN BAN”.

-The ChiTown City Council passed an ordinance which requires restaurants and any businesses which serve liquor to post a

“No Guns Allowed” sign on their premises, at the risk of losing their business license(s) if they do not. The Illinois Rifle Ass’n., the acronym of which is ISRA, probably to not be referred to as the “IRA”, opposes this. Lawsuits are expected. One of ChiTown’s top law firms, Jenner & Block has said it would defend the city pro bono. What does that say?

 

Does this mean if there were an ISKA, Illinois State Knife Ass’n., would they be ecstatic as no laws have been enacted which would estop patrons from wearing their Bowie Knives to dinner at a ChiTown eatery which serves alcohol?

 

BOTOX JOHN?

-Anyone notice how much smoother SecState, John Kerry’s face seems? It’s still as long as a Clydesdale’s but what happened to all the craggy wrinkles? Botox?

 

SOME HEADLINES FOR YER REVIEW OR WHATEVER…

 

“Serial airplane groper gets 9 months”. Hmmm, was it the new 787 or just an old Airbus?

 

“Cool idea? CPS hands out 36,000 tiny fans to beat heat”. Just in time for a daytime high of 70 on Friday!

 

“United Web glitch results in free flights”. About time. At least now the price reflects their level of service.

 

“$90,000.00 bonus for U. of I. prez.” Which was awarded one day after Uni trustees voted to increase freshman tuition by 5.7%.

Makes sense.

 

“Rapping American jihadi killed by rivals in Somalia”. Whether you dislike Rap or jihadis, that hasta make ya FEEL-GOOD.

 

“Bicyclists need to follow the laws, too”. Amen, bro.

 

DUCK SEASON

 

DA BIG SCREEN…

-”The Family”, with Robert DiNiro, Michelle Pfeiffer and Tommy Lee Jones, gets 3-stars from Richard Roper. It’s a gay romp through the world of witness protection, played comedically. Roeper favorably compares it in parts  to “The Freshman”, which was a fun flick from many years ago.

 

Moi’s take is DiNiro, Pfeiffer and Lee Jones, alone should be worth the price of admission.

 

TUBULARLY SPEAKING…

-”Soylent green is People!” SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!”, starring Charlton Heston is on TCM tonight at 7 Central. It’s followed by, possibly, the only non-Tom Cruise-Tom Cruise film, “Minority Report”. A Steven Spielberg sci-fier which gets 3-1/2 stars. Have seen it. Will record it as it is worth the watch….Tom Cruise notwithstanding. Hey, once in awhile, even a blind squirrel finds an acorn.

 

-Watched the CBS Fall Preview show last night. Am hopeful the blurbs shown will be matched during the shows, as the comedies previewed had us laughing out loud.

 

-Am hopeful “Shark Tank” doesn’t go the way of some ABC shows, a la “Dancing With the Stars”, which features few “stars” and most of the “dancing” is done by the pros; with the judges…in this instance, the “Sharks”…becoming too much of the show. This and “Modern Family” are about it with us as far as ABC is concerned. “Revolution” is about it for NBC. We’ll see what happens.

 

A NOT-SO FEEL GOOD.

-Ray Dolby died. Who’s he, you ask? Mr. Dolby is the man behind “Dolby Surround Sound”. He was the man who perfected the process which eliminated the static-hiss from taped recordings. Now some youngins out there may not know what this is, as, well, it hasn’t existed on recordings since the mid-60s.

 

AND NOW…SPORT

 

A BESIBOLL FEEL-GOOD?

-What? Here in ChiTown? Whiskey! Tango! Foxtrot!, Wat?

 

Yes. The Pittsburgh Pirates have – not only – broken their decades long losing-seasons record, they are tied with the RedTurds for 1st-place in the NL Central by virtue of their win over DaBohicubs and DaRedTurds dropping one to DaCheeseturds. Plus, the Braves lead the NL South, which gives me two NL teams to pull for and even Da Doyers are a team I can watch without animus.

 

-The Stiff I Left did WHAT????????

You mean ta tell me Alfonso Soriano…the guy who couldn’t catch-the-clap-in-a-whorehouse-for-Zeus-knows-how-many-years-for- the-Cubs…climbed the wall in Baltimore; reached over it and robbed Manny Machado of a homer?

 

-Whiskey! Tango! Foxtrot! on Da Sout’side?

This is absolutely NOT a FEEL-GOOD, so am leaving it where it is. Should Arnold, Bill or Nick choose to comment, fine.

 

THE SOCIALIST FOOTBALL COLLECTIVE…WEEK II.

-Another WTF to Joe’s Yets! They damn near stole one in Massatoosits, last night. Coming in as 12-/12-point, road dogs, the final was 13-10. Yes, the weather probably had something to do with it. Still, nobody thought/thinks they’re going anywhere…not under Ryan…but in they’re 1-1. As have said for many a year…ain’t no style-points in the NFL.

 

-YUGE GAME IN LAMBEAU.

What, Wat? It’s only the 2nd week? Uh-huh. But if they don’t win, they’re 0-2. Da Bears and Detroyit are 1-0 going in. If either/both win, the Pack’s down 2-games. If they lose and GB does; they’re down a game and 0-2 sucks for a starting point.

That and they need to show that last week is not what nor who they are. Again, they need to run the ball effectively and play defense. The rest will follow.

 

Speaking of Da Pack, there are some pretty funny commercials with their guys. State Farm with Rodgers and “Da Super Fans” doing the “Discount Daaah-ble Check”; Clay Matthews, Jr. and his mom’s Campbell’s Chunky Soup, where she says her “Mom Cave”, behind his locker was part of his contract she negotiated. If that really is his Mom, he hadtabe, a la Shaq, “…a whole lot more than she expected…”, as she’s tiny.

 

-DaBEARS.

Over their past 10-games, these teams are 5-5. Purple Jesus is coming to town but as Detroyit showed last week, he can get a 70+yard TD and they still can lose…and Detroyit hung 34 on them, though 7 came off a pick-6.

 

It’s too early to tell but with their seeming to have re-learned how to play offense and their defense pretty much as it’s been, this could be an interesting season.

 

It seems Matt Forte is tailor-made for MarkyMarc’s offense. He could have a monster year.

 

Gotstasay, as a non-Bears fan, I really like the Black Unicorn.

 

THE BMW CHAMPIONSHIP…

-OK, where else would they hold “The BMW Championship” but Lake Forest? I mean it’s the home of Vince Vaughan, who grew up in the hardscrabble that it is. I mean, if you drive a Caddie there, you’re a freakin’ peon. Wait, Vince says he’s from ChiTown. Uh-huh…just like I’m from Lake Forest.

 

For our non-ChiTownLanders, Lake Forest used to be the home of the head of Standard Oil of Indiana.

 

So, where better to have the difference between porcupines and BMWs explained? For those who don’t know, porcupines carry their pricks on the outside.

 

Finally, our Jewish friends begin their observance Yom Kippur at sundown, tonight.

 

OK, time’s about up. I have a hot date with a lawnmower and some chores, so will sign off for this week. Hope you all have a great weekend and keep in mind that every day we can look down at a daisy instead of up at its roots, is a good one.

 

DaBigFatWat

 

 

 

 


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