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He did WHAT to the dog?

Good day. How are we all after a chilly 1st weekend of meteorological-summer? It’s a beaut, today but tweren’t yesterday, now, were it? I’m going to begin my “Lawn Tips”, Wednesday, as I’m a bit short of time, today. That said and since we’re on the 3rd day of Tom SkillingSummer, even without that, we’re just about done with Spring. So forgive me while I do some catching-up. Before I do, let’s take a look at what happened on this day in history, shall we?

Seriously?

Seriously?

 

1098, the Christian Crusdaers seized Antioch in Turkey. There are some who would refer to them as plundering-rapists in the name of Jesus but then….

 

1539, Hernando Desoto claimed Florida for Spain; then in 1928 gave his name to a car which ceased production in 1961.

 

1923, Benito Mussolini granted Italian women the right to vote. Maybe he was one of those busted-clock Fascists.

 

1974, Former Special Counsel to Tricky Dicky Nixon, Charles Colson, pled guilty to obstruction of justice in the Watergate Scandal. Colson was also known to have the following framed and on the wall of his office behind his desk: “When ya got ‘em by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow”. Sage advice, no?

 

-”MAN F*C*S DOG!”

Back just short of a half-century ago, while taking my first Journalism class, my prof trotted out this old story. A “cub” reporter is sent out to “find” and report a story. The only thing he could find and then report on was a man being bitten by a dog. When he presented it, his editor goes ballistic and says, “Dog Bites Man!”, who cares? But “Man Bites Dog!, now you got something! Now go get a story!”

 

Then there’s the old joke which goes something like this:

 

Q: What’s meaner than a pit bull with AIDS?

 

A: The guy who gave it to it.

 

Which brings us to this one about a guy who was on a tour of the Chicago Animal Care and Control facility. He was ON A TOUR. That’s important. The reason is, while ON THE TOUR, apparently he became so smitten with a “…white and grey pit bull…”, he couldn’t resist himself and while ON A TOUR, made love, sweet love, to his enamorato, a “…grey and white pit bull…”!

 

His name is Gerardo Perez. His pic’s in the link that follows and folks, the headline, “Man F*C*S Dog!” woulda made the grade for that cub reporter’s editor.

 

http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/20483335-418/chicago-man-charged-in-sex-act-with-pit-bull-at-city-pound.html

 

-ORANGE-BARREL SEASON IS IN FULL SWING.

Anyone headed to O’Hare, be aware the roadwork on the I-190 from the Kennedy to O’Hare saw YUGE delays, this morning.

 

******************************************************************************************************

 -TUBULARY AND ENTERTAINMENTALLY SPEAKING.

“Game of Thrones”. Wow! Talk about blood, gore and more! I’d walk away as last night’s show was pretty nasty stuff. But I AM hooked. AND, there are folks I WANT to see get a sword up the heinie, to the hilt! This show is NOT…repeat, NOT…for the faint of heart.

 

“Revolution”. Tonight’s the season-ender. It’s going to be interesting to see who’s who and what’s what once this all gets sorted out. My guess is, the clue they gave last week that shows de oit gettin’ all turned on after Rachel “flips the switch”, will be their “cliffhanger”.

 

“After Earth”. This sci-fi flick stars Will Smith and his son. Saw the previews a few times and have to say, each time I did, I found myself asking myself, “Why is he speaking with such an affected accent?” That’s a problem when previews which usually show the “best” scenes from the flick and all I, a viewer, could think was that. Oh well.

 

-GO, HAWKS!

Well, have semi-followed my practice of NOT making their games “appointment-TV”, as when I do, invariably, they’ve lost. So, I will do my “flip-overs”, as I did once we got home, yesterday.

 

I had to attend a wedding at which I was seated with some Michiganders who don’t share our love of DaHawks. Hmm. Wonder why? I wanted to tell the guy seated next to me to take his Wings; stuff them up his heinie and fly back to MichiganderLand…but I didn’t. I just mentioned how much we ChiTowners were enjoying watching our NHL team. AND, had his been able to have won one…o-n-e…1-is-the-loneliest-number, game out of three…t-h-r-e-e…3-games-and-your-team-couldn’t-win-one-to-continue-in-the-playoffs!, well I was nicer but you get my drift.

 

So, now they’re up 2-0 on the Kings and moi’s cautiously osstimisty.

 

Go, Hawks!

 

-BESIBOOL’S BEEN BERRY SHEETY TO US.

Ever been to a Cubs game, (which I will next week), when either the left or right field bleacherites begin their “Left Field Sucks!”

then “Right Field Sucks!” and so on and so on? It’s kinda cool and fun.

 

Well, since the Cubs went on a 5-game tear, (three of which were against the Sox), they’ve defaulted to form, playing egg-sucking-dog, lousy-assed baseball since and the Sox have lost 6-in-a-row, we’re about as Death Valley as there could be for baseball.

 

NesterBill sent me an email saying he was gonna stick his head in the oven. Fear not, Bill. If it’d been the Cubs, we’d have felt the same. But, we’d probably sue a microwave and not be able to find the gas.

 

Anyway, our cheer should go something like this:

 

“Our team sucks!”

 

“No! Our team sucks!”

 

“NO! OUR team sucks!”

 

“NO! OUR TEAM sucks!”

 

“NO! OUR TEAM SUCKS!”

 

I’m going to close with that and a reminder that I will be following this with this week’s edition of “The Heckler”, as well as a couple  NASA pics from NesterBrewski.

 

OK, TTFN and remember, any day we can look down at a flower instead of up at its roots it’s a good one.

 

FatRats

 

 

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