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Happy Easter Nesters! It’s opening day for the Cubs! (April Fools?)

Happy Easter, Nesters! Hope all of you had as nice of a Holiday as we had with the Ratettes.
‘Tis here! ‘Tis the first day of April! The day on which fools rush in where angels fear to tread in order to be parted from their money sooner rather than later…in other words, it’s Opening Day for the Chicago Cubs! (Well, the Sox, too but hey, they actually won a Series within recent memory.) Now that I’ve typed that, the whole dang MLB starts t’day with the exception of the As-s-tro-holes and Tejans, who opened last night.
Today’s silliness will concentrate, pretty much, on the FearlessFosdicks of Fecklessness, the ChicagoFlubs, which I will get to presently. But first, a few thoughts on some items that’d been in the news since our last get-together.
ASHLEY JUDD DECIDES NOT TO RUN FOR THE SENATE IN KENTUCKY.

April Fools?!

April Fools?!

-Well, that’s a loss. I mean, really. How many more guys’d watch political shows if they knew a comely lass such as Ashley’d be on? Actually, I think she decided against running as she didn’t want to lose to incumbent Mitch McConnell because of his good looks. Man, does that man have a turkey-wattle or what?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? He IS the envy of all the young turks…make that turkeys. Gobble-gobble.

 
NEXTDOOR.COM.
-Saw this on the WGN news last week. This is a website for folks who live in large apartment buildings. It’s meant to facilitate communications. Why not? Why go out and actually “see” your neighbors when you can just text, email, whatever from the comfort of your living room, dining room, bedroom or while making non-interest bearing deposits in the bathroom?
ONE SERIOSITY ITEM.
-Last Friday morning, Good Friday, we’d left the the TV on and “Live! With Kelly and Michael” came on. We weren’t watching, the news had ended and we were going about our bidniss. But then, the gap-toothed, Michael Strahan entered and in his best Oprah imitation bellowed out, “IT’S GOOD FRIDAY!”, as if he were announcing a wet T-shirt contest on Spring Break . But wait! There’s more! The audience was cheering like their fave-boobulous-babe had just stepped onto the stage.  Folks, you all know my thoughts on the Chirch Heirarchy, etc. But Good Friday is Good Friday. It is not…repeat, NOT…a day set aside for the observance of partying.
As stated by the carriage driver in “Ghostbusters”, “What an asshole!”.
**********************************************************************************************************************
OK, on to DaFlubs, Sox and other assorted sports stuff.
The S-T’s Gordon Wittenmyer’s column gives a bit of insight as to why we should not take all that stuff from last week’s announcements that they were the most profitable team in MLB and that their franchise is valued at $1,000,000,000.00, 4th behind the YankMes, Red Sawx and Doyers. Think about that. These are teams which are linked with winning…not lovably losing.
The more things change; the more they stay the same.
FEARLESS PREDICTIONS!
-DaSox’ll be the biggest midget in the circus that is ChiTown besiboll. I like Chris Sale. Don’t know why but a lefty always seems to get my interest. Thing is, unlike Flubs guys, this guy’s stuff is so dirty, it’s XXX-Rated. When his slider breaks, it breaks  ”in” the zone, instead of down and out of it. Think of Marmol’s slider and how it breaks down and away from a righty, into the lefty’s batters-box. As we’ve seen the past couple years, the hitters lay off it and draw walks. Sale’s looks more like a fastball…more in the zone…but by the time a hitter can see it’s not, it’s too late.
Too bad I still can’t stand Hawk, Farmio or DJ. Stone’s the only one I like. Also, if I had a vote, I’d vote to outlaw the DH. It takes away from the game and, well, I just don’t like it.
-DaFlubs.
Well, the good news is they’re the most profitable team in MLB and as mentioned, the 4th-highest valued team in MLB. That said, they’re being run like the KC Royals. Yes, it is risky to load the roster with Soriano-type contracts but hey, DaRickettses knew what they were getting in to, so…we are stuck with a rebuild with no outside, super star caliber F/As.
But wait! There’s more!
On the last day of Spring Training, Darwin Barney cut his knee so badly, it required 5-stitches causing him to join (alleged) super-stud-starter, Matt Garza, beiginning the season on the DL.
But we are the HopeSpringsEternalNation, right? OK, here’s a rundwn of the team from Gordon Wittenmyer’s column, yesterday, the source of which is a “…veteran major-league scout, speaking on the conditioin of anonimity…”. I am doing a precis of the comments as it’s a ful-page article, with some of moi’s comments, as well.
Castillo, C: “Lost some weight, good. Can really throw”. Good. “Can hit if stays ahead in the count. Doesn’t shift well behind the plate. On a good team, a #2 catcher.”
Rizzo, 1B: Forget the scout. This kid’s the goods…if he hasn’t fallen in love with his stats from last year and believed the hype. A Mark Grace with the glove who can hit with power. An ideal #3-hitter.
Barney, 2B: Again, forget the scout. He’s the  calming influence they need in the infield. A converted SS, so has range and arm. Hitting’s a bit suspect but slid. Castro could learn from him.
Valbuena, 3B: “He’s a utility player”. “…on a good team, he’d be a utility guy off the bench”. Another search for the next Santo?
Castro, SS: “…he’s growing up”. ” “…he’s been pressured by Baez…he knows he’s got to step-up.” “…made the necessary adjustmnents and wasn’t overthrowing the ball.”  We all know he can hit. So far; so good.
The Stiff In Left: “…my God, he’s playing good defense.” “If they want production from their lineup, they’d better keep him around”. Hmmmm.
DeJesus, CF: “Adequate…a hustle guy. He plays better in right..he’s a good leadoff hitter. Average range. He’s better than Marlon Byrd”. High praise, indeed!
Schierholtz, RF: “Adequate”, (Again!?!?!?) “Fringy range…doesn’t make plays on the line like DeJesus. He’s just OK. I’d take Hairston over Schierholtz”.
Smarj, SP. “For some clubs, he’s a solid #2 or #3.” ?????
Jackson, SP: “A .500 man”. ‘Nuff said.
Feldman, SP:”Well here we go. Fro here on it’s kind of ‘what you see is what you get’.” Thgat applies as well to Travis Wood and Carlos Villanueva.
Marmol, Closer:”I think eventually they probably will put Fuji in there. I think that’s why they got him”.
So what does this mean for we of the unholy alliance of FlubsFans? Not much. It’s pretty much what we already knew…some decent guys; some playing positions at which they may not be the best but then, what the hey, it’s the Flubs.
I’d love to say these guy’sll get them to 79 or 80 wins but that means they’d hafta win 31% more games over last year AND, THAT’S NOT EVEN FINISHING .500!
That said, my big-screen TV’ll be tuned in to CH-9 at 12:35. Yeah, I’m still a CubsCrackBaby. Yesterday, one of DaRatettes said I wasn’t a Cubs fan. I corrected her ‘splainin’ that I’ve always been and always will be one…like I just said, CubsCrackBaby. However, I can still discern a steaming pile of bullschit from a top-notch, contender…or just a decent squad that’ll win as many…or a few more…than they lose. Under the Rickettses so far, it’s far more of the former with the latter seeming to be light years away. Oh well.
Hey! Hey! Holy Mackerel! No Doubt About It! It Might be! It could be!
Better…It might be? It could be? Last thing on this. Only one of us were alive in ’45, when the Cubs last played in a World Series. What’s worse, my Dad wasn’t even in ChiTown at the time as he was otherwise occupied at Waco Army Airfiled, Waco, TX., as WWII was winding down after the Japanese surrender. That really sucks.
CHRIS COLLINS IS NEW ROUNDBALL COACH AT NU.
-Chris, son of Doug, Collins; Ass’t. to Coach K at Duke, (referred to by some as the NU of the SE), should bode well for ChiTown NCAA Roundball.
Are you as tired of hearing how NU’s admission policies keep them from having a winning program? There are only 5-starters. While they may not get the creme de la creme of the ChiTown-area’s hoopsters, come on! There’s no reason they shouldn’t be able to get solid players, who can carry the course load and, at least, make the NCAA Tourney once in awhile. Yes, high-school seniors want to get as far from Mom ‘n’ Dad as possible but really, doncha think M ‘n’ D’d put their collective foots down when an NU degree is dangled in front of their kid?
I hope for nothing but the best for NU’s hoops program.
Oh yeah, if Fitz can put toether a winning football program, there’s no reason the hoops guys can’t.
OK, I’m about done for the day. Sorry, not really, about doing some much on DaFlubs. I am hopeful watching them won’t be a painful experience. How’s THAT for a hope for a season? We’ll see. Well, they should provide much writing material.
Take care and remember the words of moi’s adopted-mentor, Lewis Black, that no matter how schitty things may seem, at least we won’t get smallpox.
FatRats
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