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She did WHAT?

flossinHowdy. Yes, ChiTownLand’s still here…and the weather STILL seems to think it has to prove that we ARE The Windy City…even today. Saturday, I thought I had ground up my neighbors’ “gifts that keep on giving” and burned the gas out of my mower. Hah!

My ornamental trees, which usually don’t drop their leaves until January or February are my new “gift-givers”. So, after all that, Saturday, I get to clear my lawn again…but tomorrow at the earliest as we’re still having 20-ph, or so, winds. Oh well.

Speaking of trees, this goofy weather had our lilac’s buds opening in yesterday’s 60-degree+ temps, only to drop into normal November temps, obernight. Looks like we’ll have stunted-blossoms again, next year. Dang it all.




A couple thing before we start. I’ve noticed the sharpness of the edge of DaTwacks hasn’t quite been there lately. Perhaps you had, as well and were just being polite by not saying anything. Whatever, I’ve decided that for the time being, I’m going to send these when the Muses strike, (there were nine, with each having her own specialty). More than likely, Mondays and Fridays will remain but am not sure about the midweek editions. If they do,


This may all change after the first of the year, when mopst of us are dealing with “cabin fever”. Until then, I’ll be following my Muse(s).


Here’s another change. I’ve decided to make cartoons part and parcel of this little exercise. However, they will not be exclusively Looney Tunes or Merry Melodies, much as the following. Enjoy!


Ed. note. For some reason or other, I can’t always open So, I’m now using ”infoplease” as my source/source.

Let’s check the WayBack Machine to see what was what on this date in history in…


1558,   Lizzie da First became Queen. No, Freddie Mercury did NOT perform.


1800,   The U.S. Congress met for the first time…and a good time’s been had by all since. Right?


1869,   The Suez Canal opened, which in turn opened more commerce and spread peace throughout the Middle East.


1968,   The eenfahmoos, “Heidi Bowl” was telecast on NBC. It is so-named in that the New Yawk Jets were leading the Oakland Raiders, with only 42-seconds left in the game. NBC had scheduled the children’s classic, “Heidi” as its Sunday Night Movie. As the game was well past its allotted time slot, infringing on the movie’s start, the network switched away from the game…nationwide…only for the Raiders to score two-touchdowns and defeat the Jets, 43-32! The effect of this is seen just about every Sunday on CBS, when 60-Minutes” almost never starts at 6:00 Central and their subsequent Sunday programming gets pushed back however long past 6PM the game went. Note, FOX doesn’t start its regular Sunday programming until 7 Central on Sundays. Oh yeah. I remember watching that game with my Dad.


1973,   The man who inspired the phrase, “Ya can’t change dicks in the middle of a screw” in 1972, Tricky Dick Nixon said, “I am not a crook”, which he was not. He was a goddam thief.


2003,   Lest we forget, The Terminator Ahnohld Schwarzenegger was sworn in as DaGuvster of California.



-”Nude woman on L train causes disturbance”. Hmmm. I wonder why? They had pics, too.


- “Drones intrigue some, worry others”. Feel free to putcher 2-cents in on that one.


-”Malfunctioning drone strikes Navy cruiser”. Think those guys mighta been “worriers”?


-”What’s the point of talking?” These are the words of our warm-hearted Cardinal, Joey the Cold on his letter  denouncing gay marriage becoming legal in Ella Noise and his denying Catholic politicians the sacraments for voting for the measure.


-”EQUALITY OVER INTOLERANCE”. The headline over the S-T’s editorial in response to the Bishop of Springfield’s Toquemada-like” stance on gay marriage in his bishopric. Gottsay, this “bishop’s” bein’ somethin’ of a “pric”.


-Friday, November 22nd, will mark the 50th anniversary of JFK’s assassination. Am doing this t’day as Friday’s sposetabe “FEEL-GOOD” and I am sure none of us have any good memories about that day.


Here’s mine and y’all should feel free to share yours. It was an unseasonably warm Friday afternoon. I was a soph at St. Greg’s and on Fridays, we had Health class with Coach Socha. (Yes, we also called him Soach Cocha). We met in a classroom on the 3rd-floor which had a TV set. I don’t know why it did, so don’t ask me.

Most of us in the class were his basketball players. Being that it was a Friday afternoon and it was our coach running the class, we kept badgering him to turn on the TV so we could watch “The Rifleman”. We were relentless. “Come on, Coach. We won’t say nuthin’. ‘The Rifleman’ is on! Please!” Finally, he relented and- to shut us up – turned on the TV. But instead of Lucas and Mark McCain, we saw Walter Cronkite. He was telling us and anyone else out there who was watching that…the president had been shot. I remember Bernie, (Soach Cocha) sending one of the guys down to the office to tell the principal.

The rest, as they say, is history.


Anyone else?


-Also, did Oswald act alone?

I don’t know. I guess he did. My only problem lies with the two-shots; hitting JFK in the head; in an open limo; travelling at better than 30mph; with a bolt-action rifle; from the distance they say he was.

I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’, that was some kind of shooting.


-Moi’s fave blogger, QT, has an item he refers to as “When political-correctness collides with political-correctness”, which I’m borrowing today. It seems a high school in Coachella, California’s “mascot”, a bearded-Bedouin looking Arab, raised the hackles of the American-Arab Antidiscrimination Committee. They said the mascot was too much of a stereotype and called for its removal.

It turns out the school’s name dates back to the 1920s when the area relied on date-farming and had a large population of Arabic folks. The Committee still insists that times have changed and the “mascot” should as well. Abosfreakin’-lutely! After all, why should folks learn something about something before demanding its change, right? Like thopse ranchers who disinvited Joan Jett from their parade when they found out she belonged to PETA and also that she’s a…she’s a…she’s a. vegetarian! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





-We attended a wedding reception over the past weekend to which the aforementioned title fits…partially, as…well…one thing was aural, rather than visual.


I’ll start with the “aural”. We’ve all attended wedding receptions and yes, nowadays, they don’t generally play “I Love You Truly” or “Let Me Call You Sweetheart”, as they used to. BUT, how many of you have heard AC/Dc’s “You Shook Me All Night Long”?After that, I was all set for some “Highway to Hell” or “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap”, but alas and alack, no such luck.


-Now for the visual. All of us have attended these kinds of “dos”; some of us have hosted them. In those instances, we’ve seen many things; over-served guys “on the make”; wimmins lookin’ pretty danged good, all made up and wearing really nice dresses and stilettoes. Some falling all over themselves; others going nearly catatonic; some getting goofy and we all have a good laugh. BUT, in all the years I’ve attended these types of things, I never…not ever…not nowhere not no-how…saw anyone floss their teeth at the dinner table. I was seated with my back to the dance floor, with a direct view of another table, at which there were seated 20 or 30-somethings. Most of the wimmins looked pretty…more on that later. However, after dinner, I happened to look…honestly, I could not, not see this…and there she was with the “recommended 24-inches worth”; flossing her teeth AND, she wasn’t trying to hide it, either! She got between all her teeth; sawing that floss back and forth…not unlike Randy Quaid’s “Ishmael” in “Kingpin”. When she was finished, instead of discreetly disposing of the used floss, she held it up; examined it and then dropped it on her dinner plate. Then again, why would she be discreet then when she hadn’t in the first place?




Later, when the photographer came around, there was yet another “visual”. Y’all know this routine. The photographer makes his rounds of the tables; asking some folks to stand behind others who are seated, yadda-yadda-yadda, which this guy did.

However, this time, one couple had a kind of “frisky” guy, who thought that while he had his arm around his cutie-girlfriend, in her short-dress, it’d be neat if he lifted her up with that arm, which he did. Thing is, while he did that he also “lifted” up her dress to reveal that -in a way – she was another “flosser”, as she was wearing what some refer to as, ahem,”butt-floss”. One of the older wimmins at our table asked, “Did you see THAT?”, to which the other guy and moi, smilingly, replied, “Yes.”




-”Boardwalk Empire”. Was I the only one who thought the blind, black guy who Chalky visited looked like Lewis Gossett, only to find out later that WAS him…with an additional 70-odd pounds added to his frame? AND, what happened to Dr. Narcisse’s “daughter”? How about Gillian? What about Nucky? The season ends next week. No way will they tie up all those loose-ends.


-”Homeland”. Funny. Before and during Saul and Mira’s reconciliation, moi was thinking that while she’s not, not-good looking, and Saul ain’t no prize, neither, the guy she’s been a-trystin’ with, is a pretty good-looking dude. Ha-HAH! turns out he’s a spy, too!


AND, while Saul goes to South America to find Brody, we’ll finally get to see him, again.


Curioser and curioser.






-I refer to, now, high school athletes having TV coverage over which “college” they will attend. There is only one reason I’m even mentioning this and that is that one, crass, rude-dude, Curie’s Cliff Alexander, pulled a cheap shot on the Illini…and no, it’s not because he spurned them for Kansas. I’d have felt the same no matter which school it was. For those who didn’t see it; this dipstick was seated with his parents at a table…who did one, helluva job teaching him his manners…with several college hats in front of him; picked up Illinois’; set it down and put the KU hat on his puckin’ head.


There are those who’d wish for him to tear his ACL on his first day of practice, causing him to lose his scholarship and any hopes of playing in the NBA.

We all know that’s not nice, don’t we.

We also know that Karma’s a bitch.


Is there any wonder why pro-athlete’s become such dikheads? I mean the kid’s folks sat there while he did that! Maybe that acorn didn’t fall far from the tree.



-Neither wind nor rain kept DaBears from winning their appointed round with another Hairbag-led team, yesterday. AND, thanks to the Burghers of Pitt’s defeat of the Detroyit, they are now, technically, tied with them. I say technically, as by virtue of winning both their games, Detroyit holds that tie-breaker, which means if the season ended today, the Lions win the division.

That said, the Bears went from their “Matador” defense of the 1st quarter, to being rather stout…even scoring on a “pick-6″, which gave them the lead with only minutes to go in regulation. However, they then allowed the Crows from Balto to “matriculate the ball downfield”, into what should have been a TD-scoring opportunity, which would have won the game, to a typical Hairbag-run team’s settling for a field goal; forcing overtime. Funny, they won the toss but could not score…just as they could not with a 1st and goal at the three at the end of regulation!


-A-Aron ain’t all the Packers are missing. Again, in a game where their D had to come through to help a kid from their practice-squad in his first SFC-start, they failed. They could not get off the field, allowing the Gnats to have the ball nearly 11-minutes longer than they. With the kid at QB, N’Ywak stuffed the “box”, allowing them a mere 55-yeards rushing. That and the kid tossing 3-INTs, one of which was also a “pick-6″, were enough to do them in.


By the way, it was during DaBears aghme and this one that moi had an Epiphany. Much as Bears fans hate moi’s Packers, moi has come to the conclusion the feeling towards their team is mutual. Otherwise, why would I get so pee-peed off when they win?


-Speakin’ of Detroyit…their coach is a real, pudknocker.


-Joe’s Yets! let me down, again. As y’all know, we have an adjunct which we refer to as BFW Football. AND, I have never been able to pick the Yets!, right. AND, with them being 5-5, you can see that poses a problem.

Though I didn’t invest a YUGE amount of confidence points on them, I thought they’d beat Buffalo. Hah!


-Tonight, we have Whitney’s Patsies coming off their Bye at the PantsHers, who’ve won their last 4-games.

Should be a good one.




First they travel to Toronto to see their crack-smokin’ mayir and win the game.

Then they come home and gore the Indy Pacers by 16! Nice.



-After getting Chris Versteeg back and playing like egg-suckin’ dogs against Nashville…again, Nashville and ice hockey?…they hosted the San Jose Sharks but instead of the Sharks having their feeding frenzy, the the Hawks did their raptor’s-best to tear them apart to the tune of a 5-1 win and a 2-point lead in their division. Let’s keep it up, guys.



-Hmmmm, DaveS’s Illinois State Cardinal done come to Evanston and beat the NU Wildcats, 68-64! WHISKEY! TANGO! FOXTROT!



DaDomers lost to Indiana State, 83-70! Guess “Touchdown Jesus” only watches them play football, huh?


-Illinois beat Bradely. Not going to mention the dikheads who spurned them, as well, I just don’t want to. But nothing would please me more than to see the Illini go on a tear under their new coach…well, sorta, “new”…and become a powerhouse in roundball, sans dikheads.


Am going to wind things up now but have one last thing. As anyone who was not visiting the Dalai Lama or in a cave over this past weekend, knows Illinois took it’s “turn in the barrel”, weatherwise. There have been heart-rending stories of the desolation wrought by what seemed to be a “train” of storms  cutting a swath…pronounced incorrectly by a ‘GN host as if it rhymed with “bath”, when it rhymes with “swat”…which also caused “quite a bit of devastation”. To “devastate”, which according to means: “to destroy much or most of (something) : to cause great damage or harm to (something)”, one is left to wonder what quite a bit of that would be…”total obliteration”?


Take care. Again, am hopeful all y’all avoided any damage…especially quite a bit of devastation…and if you had any - damage, that is – it was minor at its worst.


Until next time, please remember, any day we can look down at a rose instead of up at its roots, is a good one.







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