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Annette Funicello Dies, Cubs, Sox, Hawks & a rising Weiner?!

Good morning…or is it evening? A glance outside on this 100th day of 2013 and one could wonder if it’s 7:45 AM, in the morning or 7:45 PM. (Yes. I know AM means, literally, “…in the morning…” but with so many TubeTalkers misapropially using this phraseology, I felt I’d do it to ridicule them. Meteorologically speaking, if these April Showers will bring May Flowers, we ChiTowners should be living in The Garden of Eden, a least flower-wise in May. OK, let’s get started, shall we….

DROMEDARY SEASON

-ON THIS DATE IN… 

She'll Be Missed...

She’ll Be Missed…

1790, The U.S. Patent System was established.

1866, The ASPCA was founded, leading to those cloying commercials which we all switch away from when they hit the air.

1912, The H.M.S. Titanic began its maiden voyage. “Iceberg, Rosenberg, they’re all the same to me”.

1938, Germany annexed Austria…and we all know where that wound up.

1945, Allied troops liberated the Nazi Concentration Camp at Buchenwald. On a personal note, one of my uncles was involved in one of these actions. He attested to the reality of The Holocaust.

1947, Jackie Robinson became the first black player to sign with a Major League team. As a kid, I read his biography. I still remember it. No one should have been subjected to what that man was. The film of his life opens this week, I believe. I can only hope they don’t hoke it up as it is compelling without the need for any “Hollywooding”.

-ALL OF OUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED.

Annette Funicello died yesterday. We “Meeska-Mooska-Mouseketteers” can recall her from the inception of “The Mickey Mouse Club” in 1955. She was cute as a button as a kid, who blossomed into quite the attractive teen-ager and beautiful woman. She suffered from  MS.

She is the second 70-year-old who’s passed in a week, following Roger Ebert. Don’t know ’bout y’all but when I see folks like them; the Stones, etc., that’s when I start feeling my age. For awhile, it was our kids’ birthdays but these are folks from various stages of my youth, i.e., “The Mickey Mouse Club”…grade school; The Stones…high school and Ebert…my college years. Annette and Roger are gone and The Stones are rock ‘n’ roll’s version of “The Walking Dead”.

-POL-SPEAKING

Steve “Mongo” McMichael lost his bid to become Mayor of Romeoville. Anyone surprised? Though he tried to de-fuse his detractors’ claims of what he calls his “act”, i.e., “Mongo”, it seems he failed. One of DaRatettes met him. Said he was a nice guy.

Casey Urlacher, bro of Brian, won his election for Mayor of Mettawa, in Lake County. Motorists should be wary, as it is rumored speeders will be”horse-collared” during all traffic stops.

Robin Kelly won her bid to become the new 2nd District of EllaNoise. She succeeds Jesse Jackson, Jr., Mel Reynolds and Gus Savage. How’s THAT Rogue’s Gallery troika? Am certain her constituents are hopeful to actually receive some real representation.

Oh yeah, am I the only one wondering if she’ll be making a trip to New Yawk City to buy dinner for Mike Bloomberg?

On a lighter note, Deborah Bullwinkel won her race for President of the town of Villa Park. Let’s think about that, shall we? In grade school, when she’d put her name, “last name first”, how many of her classmates would make, “Bullwinkel, D.” into “Bullwinkel D. Moose”? And, will her political adversary be “Fearless-Leader” backed by “Meester Beeg”, backed by “Boris and Natasha”, while having no fear as her Chief-of-Staff will be “Rocket J. Squirrel”? Just asking.

But wait! There’s more!

A Rising Weiner? It’s being reported that disgraced former-DemRep, Anthony Weiner, he of the “sexting risen weiner”, is contemplating a run to become the Biggest Weiner of The Big Apple by becoming its Mayor. Wow! That’d be years and years worth of material for SNL, no? Can just see the headlines: “Weiner on the rise!”

-THE FRIDAY AFTERNOON NEWS DUMP.

Viewers of “The West Wing” will recall this. It’s pretty simple, really. There’s some not-so-good news which needs to be made public, before an investigative reporter digs it up. How to do that with the least political damage? Put it out for public consumption at the end of the day on a Friday.

Case in point. Not too long ago, I had heard that Rahmses, (like that nom-de-plume any better?), was looking into charging ChiTown’s parents

for pre-K/pre-school classes.  Not a bad idea, actually, as the state only pays so much and the city shouldn’t be providing free day-care. However, with the school-closings issue riling up African-Americans, they didn’t need to also piss-off Whitey, too. It’s a sliding-scale based on reduced/free lunch students, with those who could afford more, to pay up to $4000.00/year. I’m not going to get into the reduced/free lunch deal as there’s some outright fraud involved on the part of more parents than you’d think.

Anyway, I had been waiting to hear the announcement but did not. Nothing on the tube nor radio. However, on about page 13 of Saturday’s S-T, at the bottom of the page, no less, there it was. Yet nothing…not a peep on any local TV news. That folks is a shining example of the “Friday Afternoon News Dump” and how it works.

-NEW STREET ART IN CHITOWN.

Remember the Chicago Cows? The “street-art” during Richie’s tenure? They have a new successor. Somewhat mini-Easter Island sculptures of heads, topped with plants to get folks thinking about “going-green”. Their spokesperson said their purpose is to get folks, “…thinking differently in their heads”. Wow! Yes! I mean, we need to quit, “…thinking in our arseholes” and begin, “…thinking in our heads”. Can I get an “Amen!”

-THE 536.

Some clarification seems necessary. While I lean left-center, that does not mean there is any great love for our elected officials emanating from moi’s heart-of-hearts for those who allegedly, represent those who think as moi.

The 536 refers to the 435 members of  the House; their 100-brethren in the Senate and DaPrez. Think of what has happened or better what has not. Look at what our so-called leaders have done…again…better yet, not. We were led into a war of choice which has bled us of our citizen-soldiers and “regular” GIs; untold money thrown away supporting it; a financial crisis from which we are still trying to recover, with those whose economic and foreign-policies put us here, saying we need to do even more of the same. Trouble is, their opposition resembles what one would associate with eunuchs. ”Gutless” is the nice way to say it but you know what I mean.

-HELPFUL HINT OF THE DAY.

Heard this on the news this morning. It’s being reported that having an egg for breakfast is a good thing. Quite counter-intuitively, there is a compound in the albumen, (whitey), which actually LOWERS blood pressure!

-TUBULARY SPEAKING.

“Revolution” was quite good, Monday. I guess I’m going to hafta take it as it comes and keep reminding moi’s self that it’s a TV show, not a feature film.

“Game of Thrones”. It seems I’ve gained a fellow-viewer in MBH - moi’s better half – after having sat through “Once Upon a Time” with her. I found that while trying to ‘splain to her who the incestuous ones were; who was the basterd-child-product of that sinful relationship; who were the good-good guys; the good-bad guys; the bad-bad guys and the bad-good guys, I realized how crazy a story this is! And, we didn’t even get to The Khalisi, The Dragon-Lady!

“Hannibal”. For those who may have missed last week’s pilot episode, it is being re-run, tonight, with a new episode, tomorrow. Again, the creepy-non-creepy-creepiness of Mads Mikkelson’s portrayal of the eenfahmoos, Dr. Hannibal (The Cannibal) Lecter, is worth the watch.

“Modern Family” is a newbie, as is its successor-show, “How to Live With Your Parents…”, with Brad Garrett and Elizabeth Perkins as the “parents”.

Our jury’s still out on this one. There is a problem in that the promos are, generally, the better/best scenes, which can lead to a letdown when viewing. Saw a tape of Ebert last week where he said Siskel never wanted to see the previews as they were, usually, the best scenes of the films, which he felt should first be seen in their context; not as a promo. There’s some truth to that. That said, have been a Brad Garrett fan for as long as I can remember.

 AND NOW…SPORT

-B.O.H.I.C.A-CUBS

Hey! They won last night…late…with LaddyMarmolBad getting the win and HuchiKuchi, the save. The Quest For Medicrity continues ever onward as they are now 3-5. That’s a -2.

But wait! There’s more! Matt Garza’s due back in a month…I’ll believe that when  I see it. Can’t wait for reports of his working on his “towel-drills”.

But wait! There’s even more! Just pay additional shipping and handling and their ever-evolving roster regains the father of Evolution, Darwin -

as in Barney, as in Rubble? - next week. Hope Betty and Wilma will make it, too.

-THE WRIGLEY REHAB.

On “Sports Talk Live” last night, a national-scribe noted there’s no way MLB’d allow the Cubs to move…even just to Rosemont. That may be true and also may be Tom Ricketts’ reason for not threatening to move the team. However, since he’s withdrawn his request for city $$$, I am fine with what he wants to do. Let’s try something, shall we? I’ll have Sherman set “The Wayback Machine” for a few years ago, when Sears decided to move out of their namesake tower, threatening to leave, not only DaCity but the state. It was considered a political victory that they were “convinced” to stay in Illinois…but at the expense of all sortsa goodies…read that tax breaks.

Returning to the present, Rahmses’s been touting how he’s brought so-so-so many bidnisses to ChiTown. Now, he has a bidniss which has spent $850,000,000.00 to buy a bidniss, which is willing to spend an additional $500,000,000.00 of its own money…not the City’s…to improve its place of bidniss but because of a group of poachers and a pol who is more of a well-oiled weathervane, Rahmses may find his odds of getting a “victory” in this mess about the same as the Cubs winning as many as they lose.

But that’s not moi’s point. We ChiTowners have a bidniss owner willing to spend $1,350,000,000.00OF HIS OWN MONEY to STAY in Chicago and he’s getting flack over that? I mean even by ChiTown standards, that’s totally FUBAR!

-DaSOX.

Doesn’t help that they’re playing inter-league games, now, against one of the best teams in MLB, sans DH. (If I were King, there’d be no DH.)

Looks like they may lose Beckham for awhile, too. Ouch.

-LOUISVILLE WINS THE NCAA CHAMPIONSHIP!

Congrats to the Cardinals of Louisville and their coach, Rick Pitino. Like him or no, ya gotsta give the guy credit for taking his second school to the title.

-THE MASTERS BEGINS.

The first “Major” of the PGA Tour, begins Tomorrow. Those golf fans out there who have ATT-U-verse, get extra coverage from their “U-verse” channels. You can actually watch the holes you want…Amen Corner, for example.

Yes, Tigger is a fave but as usual, there’s a pretty strong field out there, AND, he is nowhere near as intimidating as he once was. I’ll go so far as saying he’s respected but not feared.

I am looking forward to the coverage as, well, this means Spring is here, to me.

DaHAWKS won 1-0, last night. They have clinched a playoff spot, again. Nice to see that.

DaBULLS. These guys just can’t catch a break. They’re so beat up, they make Robert DiNiro’s face in “Raging Bull” seem cherubic.

OK, gottago. As the little lady from the Chinese restaurant usetasay, HaGooDay!

FatRats

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