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Adios Matt Garza!

Sorry for the lateness but hadta take care of some outdoor activities, read that, shopping, before we got downright Amazonian out there. You know it’s “hot ‘n’ sticky” when you exit your comfy, AC’d indoors and immediately feel like a 13-year old boy after a wet dream. The forecast is for more of the same through Friday with Alimighty Zeus, The Cloudgatherer, visiting his thunderbolts on us as we make the turn to a much more comfy-temped weekend. But enough of this. Y’all know what it feels like outside, so why think about it, right?

garza

While not much is going on, let’s see what we can see by taking a glance in our historical rear-view mirrors by meandering over to The WayBack Machine, with Sherman and Mr. Peabody. We’ll start with yesterday, in…

 

1774, Russia and the Ottoman Empire signed the Treaty of Kuchuk-Kainardji, which later became a phrase in The Beatles hit, “I Am the Walrus”…”Kuchuk-Kuchu”!

 

1945, the U.S. exploded the first A-Bomb over Alamogordo, New Mexico. Where the land prices there are  still really, really, reasonable.

 

Today , in…

1762, Czar Peter III was murdered with his wife, Catherine, assuming his throne, which it’s been reported she had slung under her favorite horse.

 

1864, Confederate Gen. Joseph E. Johnston was replaced by Gen. John Bell Hood by Jefferson Davis in an attempt to stop Union Gen. William Tercumseh Sherman. It’s rumored when they met, Sherman asked Bell if he had a match.

 

1899, James Cagney was born, much to the delight of filmgoers of multitudinous generations.

 

1987, SUPERPATRIOT, Lt. Col. Olllie By Golly North and Adm. William Poindexter began testifying to Congress on the Iran-Contra Affair, which led to their later convictions for their parts in said affair. All was not lost, though. ByGollyOllie found himself on FAUX-News Channel. And Willie Boy was recalled to duty by, ahem, the Bushies. As Yakov Smirnoff would say, “What a country!”

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DROMEDARY SEASON

T’AIN’T ONLY TRAYVON.

-There’s a story on Yahoo about a 76-year-old white man who shot and killed a 13-year-old black boy, claiming the boy stole $3k worth of shotguns from him.

 

Here’s the gist of it:”

Police say John Henry Spooner confronted Darius Simmons, who lived next door with his mother, as the teen took out the trash. Spooner, who is white, had suspected that Simmons, who was black, stole $3,000 worth of shotguns from him, and demanded that the sixth-grader return them. Simmons denied stealing the guns, and his mother, Patricia Larry, told Spooner to go back inside.

Instead, prosecutors say, Spooner pulled out a handgun and shot the 13-year-old in the chest from near-point blank range.

“When police arrived, Spooner was still on the sidewalk, holding the gun,” according to the criminal complaint. “When told to drop the weapon, he placed it on the ground and told police, ‘Yeah, I shot him.’”

An autopsy showed that Simmons, who was unarmed, suffered a gunshot wound to his torso, according to the Associated Press. Spooner was charged with first degree murder. He pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity.”

 

Again, a knucklehead with a handgun kills someone. If all those over-compensators out there who just-have-to-have-their-big-kid-Binkies, would just, effin’ grow the eff-up and IF they are responsible, then submit to local/federal/whatever reviews before being allowed to purchase/own/use them.

 

Funny how this one isn’t on the news, though.  Hope the CheeseHeads have the death penalty.

 

AN OLD MENTOR PASSED AWAY.

-When in grade school, I was an altar boy along with Nester Tom. We used to serve the 6:15 AM in the morning Mass with Father Ted, who was a teacher at Quigley Seminary and had to be out of Church and on his way there like in a hurry. Otherwise, he’d sit in traffic. For those of you who may not recall the Latin Mass…and no, it did not have a Mariachi beat…all the prayers were said in Latin. The longest was The Confiteor, which literally means, “I Confess”. From it come the Latin words, “Mea Culpa. Mea Culpa. Mea Maxima Culpa”, which mean, “Through my fault. Through my fault. Through my most grievous fault”. Well, Fr. Ted would say, “Confiteor Dei” and Tom and I would complete it in less than a minute. As there were usually only 5 or 6 people in Church; none of whom understood what we were saying; Fr. Ted’d fly through the rest of the Mass…including Communion…in about 10 or 12-minutes. We’d be home for breakfast before 7:AM in the morning.

 

Well, as we all do, Fr. Td, who became an auxiliary bishop, shuffled off his mortal coil. He was one of the good ones.

Anyone interested, the details are in today’s S-T.

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BACTRIAN SEASON

BIG BANG RERUNS

-Though this show’s about as ubiquitous as mosquitoes on a summer evening, there are a few episodes which rank right up with “The Honeymooners”. Last night’s was one. If you see, “The Bath Gift Hypothesis” title, do your self a favor and watch. While the entire show is funny, the end where Sheldon accepts Penny’s Christmas gift, with his Wile E. Coyote-like plan in place, STILL had me laughing out loud. Jim Parsons has come a long way from “Who the hell is he?” to, “Oh, HIM! You mean Sheldon.”

 

DEADLIEST CATCH

-Moi’s fave “reality” show is inching towards the end of its season as we approach the end of July. I am very hopeful they get rid of Elliot and Junior for next season. These are two, real turds, who don’t deserve airtime; nor should we have to watch them as, well, other than their crews getting hurt by it, there’s nothing more I’d like to see than those guys go bust.

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AND NOW…SPORT

ADIOS, GARZA!

-DaBOHICUBS have told Matt Garza they are trading him. From everything I’d heard from the local and some national sports scribes, he should command some top-drawer prospects. Fine. Here’s the problem. The two guys the Cubs gave up for him ain’t doin’ much of anything. So, before we break out into a hearty rendition of “Hey! Hey! Holy Mackerel! No Doubt About It!”, let’s keep that in mind. AND, like most “construction” projects, it’s the “extras” which require and take the most time.

 

Don’t worry. If they do it by FEEL-GOOD FRIDAY, I’ll probably gush over whomever they get, CubsCrackBaby that I am. Why not? It’ll be just about the last thing we’ll get to cheer about the rest of the season.

 

THEY’RE ON A ROAD TO NOWHERE.

-Of course, I refer to the Sox. Other than Chris Sale being credited with last night’s All-Star Game win, they ain’t lookin’ much better than their North Side counterparts. Well, with this exception. Cubs fans KNEW there team would suck. Sox fans figured theirs would do otherwise. Guys, if you haven’t learned this yet, it’s time you do. Lowered expectations, generally, allow for higher points of enjoyment. It’s like going to the casino with $100.00 in your pocket and coming home with $7.43 and thinking, “Well, hey! At least I didn’t lose it all!”

 

WHO’S ON THE HOTTEST OF HOT SEATS?

-Well, tain’t Swami Sveum; nor Robin RedBreast; nor Thibs; nor Coach Q. Uh-uh. It’s MarkyMarc and his FunBunch! With our collective baseball teams living out Johnny Cash’s “Egg-Suckin’ Dog”, there’s nothing. Zero. Zip. Nada, to take ChiTowners’ sports attention from he and his team. Oh yeah. That woulda happened anyway. But now, with neither baseball franchise worth more than a look and a channel change; the Bulls not starting till October and now that The Poodle said he’s 100% and ready to play, so that drama’s gone. AND, the Stanley Cup winning Hawks don’t start till around the same time. That leaves all Training Camp, (which begins a week from FridayTag); the pre-season and, at least, a month of the regular season for him to walk around with his nuts hanging out for any and every goofball question, remark, whatever, to be teed up and thwacked with a 1-iron.

 

Remember, they finished 10-6. No matter how “soft” some may say that 10-6 was; they were still, 10-6. So, by definition, anything less ain’t gonna make the mouth-breathing Ditkaphiles happy.

 

All we’re hearing is how much “better” they are. That remains to be seen. Recall, the ViQueens looked much better last year and THEY improved. Detroyit’s, well, Detroyit. No one ever knows. And then there are moi’s guys, who have said they are revamping their offense. Hmmmm.

 

Gotstsay, it sure will be interesting to see the home team throwing forward passes at Soldier Field, though.

 

BRITISH OPEN OPENS TOMORROW.

-The Granddaddy of them all, The Open, (as it’s called “over there”), begins tomorrow. I’ll watch some and do my usual…hope that an American wins.

 

OK, gonna close for now.

 

Sorry if I don’t quite get all your emails forwarded to the rest of the Nest. Keep ‘em coming. I’ll get to them.

 

Remember, as long as we can look down at a flower’s petals instead of up at its roots, it’s a good day.

 

FatRats

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